Whats your real age?

I hate Mondays. At my last job I loved them because it was my day off. Now I spend my Mondays at AFSS from 7-5. It doesn't help that I'm certainly not a morning person and the rest of the week I get an extra hour to sleep since I don't have to be to work until 8. The smart thing would be to get up early every day and get my workout over with to energize my day. Yet, I prefer to run in the late afternoon/early evening when its still really warm out. I have found that its actually easier for me to breath...

Anyways I ate like crap today. I started off with

Starbucks Perfect Oatmeal with everything 390 cal
Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte 160 cal

Thats what the Starbucks claims but I don't really believe it...I didn't have a snack because I was so busy at work so it was simply 3 cups of water. Around 1, I realized I wasn't going to have an opportunity to go pick up lunch and since I was running behind this morning, I hadn't brought anything. So Princess brought me a

Chik-fil-A chicken sandwich 410 cal

When I got home, I was STARVING! I had some already cooked shrimp in the fridge - no cocktail sauce or lemons :( so I threw them in a pan with some BBQ sauce and super hot salsa Princess had leftover. My mouth was on FIRE for about 20 minutes. I love spicy stuff but this was way too much

Shrimp with BBQ 200 cal

It was supposed to be a rest day for me but I was feeling a little anxious about eating that Chik-fil-A sandwich so I put in Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred and did level 2. Glad I only went that far since level one was way too easy but level 2 definitely made me work! I was hungry afterward and have been craving a PB&J all afternoon since I saw a co-worker eating one. Definitely gave in...

PB&J (almond butter) 240 cal

I guess that puts me around my 1350 calorie goal but I'm still hungry. Probably because I at all that CRAP! Maybe I will snack on some bell peppers. Anyways this is about to turn into a really long post because below is something I wrote a little earlier today.

As Part of my Day Zero Project, I plan to complete the “50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind” from Marc And Angel Hack Life. Instead of doing this as a simple questionnaire, it is probably more beneficial to answer a question with each blog that I write and put a little bit of thought into it. The first question is:


How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

This is a little difficult. Often, I am told I am mature for my age. For the most part I disagree with this but I have been through a lot the last couple years that has definitely made me stronger. I would say I would think I as 22 if I didn't know better. I finished college later than other people and certainly haven't figured out what I want to do the rest of my life.

I guess I will begin with why I think I'm immature for my age. I like to have fun and party. When I do, I drink way too much and usually find myself in some kind of trouble. Princess frequently lectures me for this since he always ends up being the one to drive home. As much as I try to keep my home clean, I can be a total slob. I don't like cleaning up the kitchen after I cook and I refuse to take the trash out unless I'm the only one there to do it. I frequently find myself thinking petty things about some people, which I firmly believe is a very immature habit for anyone. Fortunately, I only express these things to Princess and some close friends. I want to go back to school, because I long for the college experience again. I truly feel like an 18 year old in a 24 year old's body, with the exception that working out does cause some pain in my knees in hips which might say otherwise. The fact that I feel I can barely take care of myself – I know I can but I get very self-conscious and anxious about it. When having to do something that I am unfamiliar with, the anxiety that I feel is frequently so bad that I do my best to avoid the particular activity.

Now onto the things that might make me more mature for my age. Being terrified of the possibility of losing both of my parents before I turned 25 certainly had an effect on me. As many people know my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago, and at one point we had been told that it was at a stage that made things very scary for our family. Luckily, it was only in an early stage and she was able to receive treatment and recovered very well.

Shortly after her recovery, my dad had a very bad heart attack and was hospitalized for about 6 weeks. Most of which he was in an induced a coma. Mom and I practically lived at the hospital, terrified every morning about news we might receive that day. Thanks to everyone's thoughts and prayers, my dad has made a miraculous recovery and I certainly do believe in miracles to this day. In January, he became a candidate for a heart transplant and it wasn't long before they got the call – he was on the list for like 8 days! His transplant was successfully completed less than a year after his heart attack. I am so grateful for how fortunate he and our family have been in this situation.

These things definitely made me a stronger person and strengthened my faith in God. Like I said, I now know that miracles are real and that what appears to be impossible certainly isn't. I grew a lot as a person because of the last two years. Being in a relationship with a man who is in flight school definitely added to the stress as well. Part of that was a long distance relationship which was certainly difficult. As we are getting closer to being separated again, I now have faith that we can make it through this if we both really want to.

And the obvious. Being an only child. Some might say that I was spoiled rotten and all the other stereotypical stuff that goes along with being an only child. Yes, I was spoiled but not as much as some might think. I got my first “job” as soon as I was capable, washing dishes and doing some cleaning at my aunt and uncles B&B when I was 12. At 14, I had a serving job at a little restaurant in my hometown. I worked there until my senior year of high school when I started only working weekends at a different restaurant where I could make more money. The only time I didn't work since I first started was my first semester of college and I HATED IT!!! I thought it would be nice to have all the free time but after about a month I found myself longing for a job. I ran things by my parents over Christmas and they agreed that I could use some extra money since I had so much free time. I certainly cannot NOT WORK. Even if I have other things to do such as school I find myself very bored and getting into trouble. Also, being an only child I was around more adults growing up than I was other children. Many of my parents' friends didn't have children until I was older if they had them at all. Also, many of their friends were older than them! This probably has something to do with why I thoroughly enjoy talking to elderly people. One of my favorite things to do when I am visiting home is see some of my parents friends rather than my own! Anyways, that about sums it up, there's probably more but this post is getting long. Adios for today!